Silk purse from a sow's ear

For your consideration, a couple gems pointed my way by the good people over at Night Attack.

First off, someone created a program that will take your tweets and craft them into poetry -- cleverly titled Poetweet. As those paying attention will attest, my social media usage during the past month has been dominated by the Asian Cup down in Australia, and to a lesser extent the African Cup of Nations. It can hardly be a surprise, then, that this site took my twitterings and spat out this little gem, a rondel titled "Before halftime":

OK up until watching that hot mess.
For now, time for celebrations.
Beset by injuries & illness.
People's world to its foundations.

Suave, continental bearing.
Some sort of horrible pejorative.
America = terrorism. Or something.
Diversity. Not mutually exclusive.

I'd take that in a heartbeat.
Equally to the rest of the state.
Iraq in the final would be great.
1. That's a curious exchange rate.
Iraq foul, lather, rinse, repeat.

Try it for yourself -- it's fun! If you don't have a Twitter account, use one of someone you find entertaining, such as Elon Musk or The Iron Sheik.

Below the jump, a disturbingly accurate summation of much of my childhood.

The title says it all, really: Every 90s Commercial Ever. Does it engage in hyperbole? Certainly. Is it wrong? Not by much. It takes a bit to get going, but it's worth sticking with it to the finish.