Saturday, October 31, 2015

In which I disown some former homes

Not having been in the country for a while, I'm out of practice when it comes to celebrating Halloween -- or at least marking the occasion with more than watching a horror movie or two. Nevertheless, I was still interested when I saw the results of a recent poll of each state's favorite Halloween candy.

All the usual caveats about online surveys apply, obviously -- questions about a self-selecting user base, representative samples, what questions were asked and in which order, etc. Even so, it makes for a quick, fun read. Some of the main takeaways are:

  1.  Reece's Peanut Butter Cups received the highest number of overall votes. This is remarkably sensible yet not all that surprising -- when you mix peanut butter and chocolate, it's usually hard to go wrong.
  2. Nebraska (my home state) was one of two states to opt for Skittles, the other being Arkansas. I can support that. While it's not as progressive or interesting a choice as a Clark Bar or Zero Bar, given the multitude of horrible options out there and Nebraska's sometimes questionable culinary decisions, I offer kudos for thinking ever-so-slightly out of the box.
  3. The rebels -- California (Life Savers), Nevada (Jolly Ranchers), Utah (Nerds), Montana (Kit Kat), Arizona (Toblerone), Kansas (Twizzlers), Kentucky (Whoppers), Florida (Crunch), Georgia (Pixy Stix), West Virginia (Oreos), New York (Sweet Tarts) and New Hampshire (Tootsie Rolls). Really, Arizona? Toblerone? Either a low number of respondents swung that state's result or all those well-to-do snow birds must love them some trick-or-treaters.
Most importantly, though, I need to speak with Texas, Wyoming and Oregon -- all of which I've called home and in which I am sorely disappointed. These three, along with Tennessee and South Carolina, opted for candy corn as their favorite Halloween candy. Unbelievable.

Why is this so horrifying? I yield my time to the honorable Lewis Black, who will explain.

Fortunately, as I am still ensconced in an Abu Dhabi hotel while impatiently awaiting my flight, I am safe from the scourge of candy corn. I can only hope the candy corn companies have collected all their leftovers by the time I'm back in the country.

(HT Joe. My. God.)

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